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House of Cards
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2001 and earlier Bells, they ring.
They peal, they drum, they droll.
And all in the silence of my mind,
Which is also my enemy at times...
Only at times.
Everywhere in myself I feel it
This longing for affection,
for understanding
Or, even, for acknowledgment.
Somewhere that it seems I'm allowed none of those at all..
Something is wrong with me.
I feel it aching inside me
Screaming,
Crying.
Trying to escape.
But it is as if no other feels it.
Or sees this ravenous monster,
Threatening to consume me.
My house of cards has clasped, I'm afraid.
And I've lost all the diamonds and the spades
But it's all a monadism
A farce, a lovely little lie...
To save everyone else...
It's killing me.
It's draining me.
I feel it disposing of me..
I am almost gone,
The wind carries with it the ashes of the dead.
And I carry the wind
