i'm surprised anyone remembers myname
i mean, they don't know
that i have problems or feelings
except when i say 'aww, that's too bad'
or 'really? i'm happy for you.'
when i listen to them talk
i wonder if anyone ever
listens to me
i wonder if they know i cry tears, just like them
or that i laugh and smile
and get mad and scream
and pull my hair out
just like them
do they know that i have strict parents?
what about my sisters? do they know about them?
or my friends?
my enemies?
my school life?
my love life?
if i had one...
do they know that i hurt?
that i'm lonely, so utterly alone?
do they know that i crave attention?
their attention
anyone's attention
i'd like someone to listen to me
and care
and be interested
and say, 'aww, that's too bad'
and someone to be happy for me
i guess i'm too nice, too quiet, too afraid
maybe a little too unimportant for someone to want to hear about my day
or maybe even my life
if i had one...
i told my best friend once
one night
i told her all about me
everything she says i never tell her
i laughed alot when i talked about my sisters
and i think i even cried when i told her about my mom and dad
i never cry
i wonder if she was surprised that me,
the one who doesn't say much of anything to anyone
coutldn't stop talking
i said it all
but i wonder if she heard anything
i want to ask her what she remembers about that night
and tell her to forget about it all
but i'm not sure what she knows
i'm not even sure if it counts
oh, the first time i've ever opened up to anyone!
... we were both high and tired and couldn't sleep
i guess it was kind of useless
i hardly remember what i said
so i couldn't expect her to
maybe another time then
well, at least she's got my name down