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Overdose
I open the bottle
And stare at the contents
100 brightly colored pink tablets
To cure my 100 problems
Though some are trivial
They are all problems
First I have a father that doesn’t care
He doesn’t even realize that he hurts me
Then I have a mom that tries
But doesn’t realize she hurts me too
I am never going to make it in their eyes
They will never approve of the life I lead
Nor do they understand it
I strive daily for other’s approval
Will anyone ever approve of me?
Or am I going to just scare everyone off?
I stare into the bottle again
I tune everything out
All the noises of the world
The blaring music of my stereo
Becomes a silent buzz
I just sit on my bed crying
I could quickly swallow the contents
And make all the pain go away
But what would that solve?
I already feel like I am on the edge
The edge of nothing
And actually 6 feet down is not that far
I just wish someone would come
And wrap their arms around me
And consume me with their love
But it doesn’t matter anymore
So here it goes
1, 2, 3, 4
Each one slides down with no trouble
5, 6, 7, 8
This is not enough for me
I go to the cupboard
And grab all in sight
Not reading labels
I just start swallowing
By the handfuls
Wishing there was a quicker way
For them to take action
I lay down on the bathroom floor
The cold tile feels good
Then all of a sudden I feel it
The pain comes from in my stomach
And slowly creeps through my body
I know I am going to be sick
But I am too weak to move
I roll over, and pull myself up
I sit there getting sick
For what seems like hours
Then I begin to cry
I have failed
I take the rest of the pills
And fall asleep on the floor
Next thing I know
I hear voices
But I can’t open my eyes
I try to scream
But my lips don’t move
Actually nothing is moving
“Omigosh, she’s not breathing”
“Take a pulse”
But it is too late
I am gone now
There is nothing that can be done now
I regret my actions
But I have pushed to hard
And can’t go back
Good bye
