Crying uncontrollably i can not stop. Thought I had it in check but the pain is alot. This load is to much it needs to be dropped. So many mistakes peircing my heart like a stake. Never thought this was real always considered it fake. Wanna get the fuck just break. No where to run maybe that was my first mistake. Wanting to run from it all never look back. Just to hit a brickwall blind and land on my ass flat. Just to stand and attack, mistreating others. Why dont i know how to act.
Lookn at the feelings in my life, all i ever gave myself was strife. Stadding myself in my back with my own poisioness knife. Wanna take a good step in my life, but I'm struggling through the mud all damn night. To tired to put up the good fight. Just takeing it all in thinking its gonna be tight. And it just might.
But I'm so sick of these sleepless nights. Not knowing what I feel is wrong or right. Need somewhere to go, to grow, and heal from the fight. Can't go back to sleep, now my life can be a lyrical peice. Nothing flashy here my fall to the bottom was way too steep. Demons come around so much, now they dont even creep. I fight them in my sleep, never winning just waking up sweating in my sheets.
Wanting someone there i wanna keep. Or am I nothing but a dog just a creep. Feeding off others like the wolf feeds off sheep. Maybe I'm a moster, sometimes I'm not even discreet. I cannot except defeat. Cannot abandon the fleet. I'm the captain of my ship I go down when it sinks.