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Rafferty Raffles
Rafferty Raffles came home late one night
Feeling distinctly okay.
He had wiled away the hours at a bar
So, was he drunk? No darn way!
Maybe his focus was a bit scattered
At least he knew where he was.
Why, he was here, at his humble abode
And, er, he was here because...
Well! By Jiminy! Just why was he here?
This was a heck of a thing!
Ah, of course, sure! He was here to enjoy
The rest of this fine evening.
"Bargirl, bring me a beer! Keep it flowing,"
He grinned and winked at the lass.
The next thing he knew his head was spinning
He landed hard on his ass.
"Yer a silly daft fool! Yer drunk again.
Don't say that you weren't warned."
Oh, what a waste of an alcohol buzz
Old Rafferty Raffles mourned.
Picking himself up, after a few tries
Rafferty peered at his wife.
"Oh Erin my gal, you don't serve beer well,
But you sure add punch to life."
