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mania
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something about death i see the world how it is.
i dont understand it at all.
one minute so happy
but turn away and i will surely cry.
there is no middle ground for me.
only high,
only so fucking low.
for once i would like neutrality.
it seems as though
i feel too much,
or i am numbed
by the ice in my heart.
last april was a prozac spring.
blossoming was my grin
in a garden so full of life
i had to weep.
when i returned
from this three month vacation,
i came home to a vacancy
so void of love
i had to weep.
the sky is darker
and the air cuts like a dagger.
the crackling of my lungs
reminds me of everything
i meant to forget.
my mania and i
are here to stay.
no matter how fast i run,
this cold, bitter stench won't go.
the warmth i feel so temperary,
just like your touch on my skin.
this rollarcoaster is picking up speed
and there is no way for anyone to catch me.
