i wish you had meant what you said.
i wish you could see inside of my mind.
crack my skull in two
like an egg.
humpty dumpty had a great fall,
all the king's horses
and all the king's men
couldn't bear to fix me
again and
again.
i wish i told you to stop
when you clung to me that night.
when you grabbed my hand.
a kind gesture, i take
everything the wrong way.
you shouldn't provoke me
awaken me
console me
trap me in your arms.
dig deep down into a cavity
where my heart should be
beating, but it has been missing
for some time now.
time now to leave.
to abandon your words. so wise
and full of love, of pain, of freedom,
peace,
war,
death.
you can find me forgetting you with each puff i take.
getting high in bedrooms to forget
the tears of so many years.