Lil' Incident

I had just finished dropping off my drunken friends. That party was lame, I said to myself. I drank a little, not enough to make me a drunk, stupid driver or anything. I was, basically, the designated driver, I didnt mind, really. Most times it was a good time, but this party just wasnt doing anything to anyone, not that there were a lot of people there, anyways. Good food, though I said, at least.  But now, after making some pretty long trips cause I was feeling like being a good guy and leaving everyone at their door, it was time for me to go home. 

Hey I should probably go left, and take the avenue, that should be quicker, err, wrong way, oh, oh no. Those coppers sure are sneaky, damn.  Knock knock, I need for you to park your car right here it was a very complicated spot, but hey, I can do it, I thought, and indeed.  Nope, I will need you to try again, this time try parking right here ,All right! oh, I get it, this guy thinks Im all light headed drunk, hes trying to test me, but that wont work. Finally, he approached, probably feeling defeated after I nailed his little test. Have you drank at all, young man? no way, man you should know who you are talking to, its me, Im the designated driver, I thought, then said No, sir, All right, let me smell that breath of yours! ,Okay, Well seems to me you might be okay after all, young man. Then he decided to stick his head inside my car, he went all sniffling sniffle, then said It reeks of alcohol in there, you lied, you are a liar, young man. Listen man everyone who was in my car on the last 30 minutes were pretty drunk, so mind your own business, anyway, I thought, but decided to go with: All my friends were pretty drunk, sir. Im not lying to you, I was just heading home after being the designated driver of my friends I honestly felt very proud of myself.  Okay, I guess I believe you, do you have any open bottles of liquor in there, any booze? He said booze in a weird tone, like a slang tone, but weird, he emphasized on the oooo, thats weird, I thought. No, sir, just my good old self in here, All right young man, youre good on the alcohol thingy there, but you still went the wrong way, why is that? Listen, man its 3:30 in the morning, no car was even on the avenue, and you are giving me crap about me going the wrong way, plus it was just like 5 meters, and I made a U turn, and I was being cautious, you just want to mess with someone, cause youre bored, I know this I thought about all this, and then answered as I shrugged: I guess I tripped, man. You sure did, young fella. Let me get your ticket BRB. That last BRB really made me hate the guts out of this guy, but I keep my cool, as I didnt mean to get in more trouble. Hey cop, how much are we talking about with this ticket, is it expensive? Yeah, about 60 bucks, haha, but Im sure it wont be a problem for you He said with a creepy-ass smirk painted on his face, as if he knew that it was indeed, a big problem for me. Listen man, that is a big problem for me, Im just a student. I dont have the extra cash to pay that. Is there any other way? I asked in an innocent way, searching for the non-existent sensitive side of the five-o. Well young man, I have to tell you, This is the legal way However, i don't really like the legal way too much, so maybe we can think of something else Do you have something in mind young fella? Wow, I thought. I knew exactly what he mean with that. That bribe innuendo was pretty smooth and as nasty as a pig a different pig. Im not stupid, I knew right away the right thing to do. I suppressed the temptation and told him: hmm Nope. Needless to say, he didnt expect that. Really? So I give you the ticket right now.. Is thats correct? Yes man, give me the ticket. Give me the stupid ticket! I dare you! I double dare you, corrupt and unethical crook, to give me a ticket!! As I struggled to control my last spark of inner rebellion, I answered: Yes, hand it over. The police officer gave me the ticket with a blank face, and let me go. Free at last I said, as I drove home to sleep. The next morning as I enter my car, I smell it It smelled like a Bacardi bottle slaughterhouse. Mainly because of the bottle hiding between plastic bags in the front passenger seat that the cop totally missed out.


Written by Carlos Ramírez, and Rodrigo Alberto Garza

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