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bereft of you
every,everythings w winding up
bleeding,emptiness in my heart
holding onto the memories
looking in them for you oh please
i don't know don't know why
you make me always cry
i don't know don't know why
i cant make you mine
ending,before starting the road
losing,before reaching the shore
falling,before rising up
failing, before to start
i don't know don't know why
you make me always cry
i don't know don't know why
i cant make you mine
drowning in my own soul
breaking up with in my own
letting my sorrow to flow
letting the cool breeze i to blow
piercing my heart is pain
my try goes in vain
fear creeps in my mind
why did you left me behind
i don't know don't know why
you make me always cry
i don't know don't know why
i cant make you mine
i like the poem, some parts
i like the poem, some parts more then others, but it sounds like it's from the heart. i have two tips, the first is some english mistakes which you can edit so thats ok :) also i could tell it was a song before i read that it was and it kinda pulled me away from the reading. there are ways you can alter it to make it more poetic and read out less like a song. good luck
-Brandon
thanx !!for reading the poem
thanx !!for reading the poem and really thanks for ur suggestions i will like to keep them in mind when i write my next poem