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Alone
The Dark Slowly Creeps in, I cannot hide from it. no matter where I go no matter where I try to hide, it just keeps coming. it is the darkness within that is taking over my soul. With her gone I feel all is lost. How could she Tell me to trust her? How could she tell me she Loves me?? and to tell me she want to be with me foreve, that nothing could come between us. Our Love will Stan the tests of time!! just you watch and see. Then she tells me to go! I am A lier!!! I DON"T LOVE HER!! this breaks my heart. she is right, I have been a lier. I have betrayed her in my mind. She forgives me, I break her heart again, she forgives me. I try so hard to do right! She thinks I have betrayed her again, She is done. Get out of my life, She Divorses me. I love her so much I give her Everything she asks for, even the kids, I can't bring myself to fight her and she walkes all over me because of my shame and broken heart. in time, she starts to talk to me, talks of starting again, Could this Be true? COULD IT BE?!?!?! Such Hope well inside me, I know I have so much I have To Change and Fix, but it is such a small Price to pay!! To have her and them back!! Things Start to go well, We even speak of marrage!!, then we start to fight, over money, a house and a car, I so want to get her these things but how? I'm Broke, it's time to find a way to make more money, but how, sell the truck, but who will buy it? aparently noone, she feels I am not trying, and we fight more, we fight over me going to spend time with my oldest son, and not staying and helping her with ours, but I'm not allowed to Bring him to her place, She tells me I don't watch our 2 well enough to even consider bringing him, but he's 10! how could this be a problem in having to watch him as well? We fight more about this, She tells me to go and take my things, I am devistated, I don't understand how she could ask me to just not see him but 1 weekend a month. He is My Son!!! and she says she loves him. I don't understand!!!!!! GOD HELP ME!!!!
She tells me she loves me that night and we will see about working through this. Little do I know she has decided this is the end! she don't bother to tell me, she just closes me out, dosen't even tell me that yes we are through, till I come by to see the kids, then she won't even look @ me. My Heart is torn to shreads all over again!!!, But How, WHY!!! She SWORE HER LOVE TO ME!!!! now comes the time apart.. and the tragic darkness that is seeping into my heart, I cannot find any light that will keep this out, It is too Late, My Life is ending, I feel my light slipping away, no matter what I do... To My Dear Katy, I LOVE YOU!!!!
~Always~N~Forever~
