PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

She felt hurt when he said, "Everyone I tell about you thinks you're crazy," It fits.

Did he ever think to ask her questions (he never has) vs. talk about her to people who don't know her?

Did he ever think to get to know her friends? Talk to the people who know her well? 

People who have known her for years and can give insights on the good and bad? 

She felt hurt when he said, "I'm trying to figure out why you've never been married before"

It seems he was looking for a reason to doubt her. A reason not to love her

She felt judged by that. But she kept a smile and said nothing.

Did he know that 42% of black women have never been married? And her standards are high, he knows.

She wants her man to love God. A shortage of eligible black men in the country for successful women like her? 

She felt judged but she kept a smile and said nothing. She understood.

He felt judged by her once when she didn't mean to. So she gave him the benefit of the doubt.

In 3.5 months they have never been transparent with each other. They play games.

He told her "she had no game" implying that she should. So she tries to keep up appearances...

In 3.5 months they have never asked each other real questions about intentions, what they think of each other

When she tries he's evasive. He clams up and doesn't answer.  So she stops trying and keeps up appearances

It causes her not to trust him fully, doubt his motives, so he thinks she is crazy? But she cares for him.

She is afraid to ask the questions she should. She's afraid he will thinks she is soft, he already said it. 

He will think she's in love. Not yet, but she does care. 

He will get bored in the pursuit because he wants her to have more “game.” Can she just be herself?

Things go unsaid, so she can't be herself…not yet. She feels she must keep up the game.

Things go unsaid, so it makes her unsure of the situation and how to react to it.

The real her…. sweet, smart, caring, wants to please, wants to live life, have fun!

This is her preferred mode, but instead she feels a need to hold back protect her heart.

He never considers how he can communicate to make the situation better 

To make her feel safe. He just thinks something is wrong with her

Does he care for her? Does he not? If he doesn't, then she doesn't want to appear to.

The friendship has no sturdy footing. She was completely in the dark. He kept it that way.

So why is he even there? In her life? Why does she want him there? She cares for him

Did it occur to him that she would have a sense of direction if he enlightens her even just a little?

Why does he evade authentic conversation. Authentic communication she's good at that

He gave her insights into him that he chose to, but didn’t answer her specific questions

Why does she allow him to stay in her life? She cares for him

She doesn't know how to interpret the evasiveness but she knows its not good.  

Even Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man is very clear on that

The Book says to run when he is evasive, so he thinks she is crazy when she has flight/fight tendencies with him?

The reason it’s hard to trust him? the evasiveness, the empty promises of hanging out, the weirdness with his phone It seemed he walked away once before. She asks why he agreed to reconnect but again he doesn’t answer

Wonder what they would have learned if they really knew each other? The real R&A. Still so much they don’t know Yes there are some things they already know about each other. One or two of them not so pretty.

Like she can attack with her “written” words when she feels unsafe, she is aware of that. An easy fix...and even more so when she feels safe with his intentions. He seems to reject the good part of life. Why? Not so easy of a fix it seems... What is the problem that he has with our Maker?

But even then she has faith he will work through it. Turn that rejection into love. She even thought 

Surely when that rejection becomes love for our Maker, he will see her in a different light. Maybe, love her too...She cares for him

She can attack with written words. But her heart's desire is to respect her man. Not give him lip, love him, please him. 

But its important that he meets her at least part of the way. Make her feel safe in some small way.

The long text, the email a direct response to his silence. He wouldn’t talk to her, and in that moment her EI equals 0.                                Within minutes she regretted sending the long text. His words came rushing back to her memory. 

It didn't go along with respecting a man, she knew. She was hurt by his silence but she could have just dealt with it on her own. Not involve him. Not text him. They would have maybe talked about it in a day or two

On Saturday, she wanted to tell him she knew she messed up...again with that text

She tried to reach him all day. The last time a month or more went by before they talked about it.

She knew they could not survive another month of silence not this time so she reached out to him many times

She felt confident at first he would get past the anger and call her back. She thought it was just anger.

They could eventually have a real conversation, but he did not call...

How can he be on the phone all night with her

And the next day have NO vested interest to talk to her?

She could never purposely fall asleep with someone on the phone one night

And not be ready to fight for them even a little the next day. How do men do that? Red flag..

She invested time in this too, hours on the phone, getting to know him, excluding others

But he had no vested interest in her to pick up the phone? Wow!

Had he NOT kept his feelings and intentions from her

She would have had a clue he had no vested interest...done something different

Why does he hate her and call her crazy when she messes up? It's just emotions.

But when he hurts her she doesn't cut him off. She still cares for him

She deals with it, forgives and moves forward. She gives him a safe place to be angry with her

And express how he feels. But he doesn't reciprocate. He cuts her off and he's done with it. 

He’s angry. He doesn’t want to talk. That’s ok. She gets it. She asks when can they talk?

But he doesn’t answer. If he cared he would tell her maybe in a day or two and she would wait.

But he doesn’t, he cuts her off, and she feels all alone in this thing they’ve started. It hurts…

He said this was all way too much for a friendship

What does that mean? If they were sleeping together, he would be more vested?

Would he love her if she slept with him? Would he? She wants him soo much in that way.

But sex doesn't turn into love...she knows this. She can't go there because he can't love her

The first time in 15 years she seriously pondered giving herself to someone other than her husband.

Why would the man of her dreams cause her to want to disobey God? He wouldn't. He would want the same as she.

If the intent was to love and marry this woman and they slipped up while on the way there 

It wouldn't be right either but at least she could live with it a little knowing that she belonged to him anyway.

She was not crazy but there was definitely a war going on between her desire to please God vs. please him and herself. 

It took much restraint. An ongoing war between the flesh and the spirit can seem crazy if you don't understand it. 

But he wouldn't know that conflict that craziness if his flesh is never convicted. Does she give in? Make him her idol? 

Why can't he love her? He hates her now? Have a nice life?? Hurtful Perplexing...

She invested time in him. And she is always purposeful, intentional 

He was only the 3rd guy that she liked in 15 years. It doesn't come easy for her

Men have had interest in her over the years but she doesn't return it

But him, she cares for. They were compatible in so many ways

Intellectually, educationally, physically, personality and activity wise

He was perfectly mature where she wasn't 

And she was perfectly mature where he wasn't

He wants to take a road trip across the country and so does she 

Live life and have fun together

But they were incompatible in this one area it seemed. Spiritually...an area that counts

Why? He knows the word. He's seen it lived out in his mom's life.

But he doesn't seem to value it the same way or at least communicate or show that he does. At least not to her.

Does he ever do anything wrong? Is he always right?

Could he have communicated his intentions, answered questions, made her feel safe with him

He will never know now, it would have taken him a long way with her

What happened to amiable discussion? A closure conversation?

It hurts her to not have that. Why the intense anger by him? Can he explain?

They will never know now what could have been 

They were so close yet so far away

She cares for him. Her heart breaks. She wanted to be his rib 

She wanted to love him, adore him, make love to him, enjoy life with him

She wanted the ultimate with him

He doesn't understand love forgives more than once…many times

But he doesn't love her and he refuse to talk so all she has to express her heart

Are these words on this piece of paper

She will stop wondering what life would have been like with him

She wishes him well without her.  So long my friend once again...