blight, bane, disdained

You made me walk back in that door, now I cant feel my face.
This has become a personal problem I have come back around now,
I guess I'm a person again...
I know I said that I was done with nicotine but
that's before the falling back to my own hands.
Soaked from a long walk in the rain,
a new shiner from a hard night,
I been searching to hard for some love.

Walked in then out,
don't need you,
locked inside a box,
choked out,
halfway to touching,
all the way to feeling,
but never relieved.
Woke up with you in my mind,
woke up to the blank page,
woke up only for a long walk and a fist fight.

If I make it to the new year will some new hope flow in?
If I quite my job and lock my door and force myself to paint until this runs dry
Maybe then I wouldn't be so ready to cry.
Half lit tunnel I been walking showed me of new ways,
so why is it this place still compels me?

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