I'm not done with my thought
of you, earthed cursed love
I've got fights to have fought
and happy moments blessed from above
I remember saying yes on Jan. the third
but all is blank until my sweet sixteen
where I went to dinner with y'all and heard
your thoughts and your family as I sat between
you and nothing and smiled to myself
thinking that this was beautiful, I was happy
and I'd never be put on the shelf
still thinking so fucking sappy...
I remember eating several times together
each time I would listen silently
keeping my comments light as a feather
fearing of reactions violently...
But that's another time.
A newer rhyme.
Rewind a bit to Valentines Day
The poems and flowers and joy
the walks and talks and all to say
that you were playing, being sly; coy.
The day after, I'll leave it at that
but still... what a memory...
not yet a mat...
such a clear thing to see...
Soon after I asked you to handfast,
we'd been talking about it
never to know that happiness was past
and said "Why not, what time's fit?"
Exchange of gifts, promises made
cold winter's night,
and back in its shade
you had to go back, right?
For two or three months we
planned it all out and
we were... crumbling... all could see
and suddenly trick of flight from your hand.
"You lied to me" and then the sting
after the pain subsided on my cheek
I'd shut up and not move like a thing
while you'd start to shriek.
Lied lied lied, that's what you said.
My two faced one of inner light
And when we talked while on my bed
I swore I dreamed up the latest fight...
Couldn't seem possible that
I was being trained by you
as we conversed as we sat
but all the cautions heeded true.
Bent me, broke me,
I was to blame
Thinking I'd see
That it was a game.
No persuading got me to leave
though my friends tried hard
I just couldn't grieve
right about it as a shard
I stayed with you
through and through
I let you hit me
Blame me.
You left first, thought I'd cheat.
Like there was that chance
even when I was on my feet.
The nights away made you prance.
Yelling blaming
I remember you hating Chika.
Screaming shaming...
I remember you hating everyone.
Four days later I back to you
I remember it. I cherish it.
I was your property too,
a sculpture made bit by bit.
A new beginning,
a new time
a start to new sinning
the birth of new rhyme...