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I'm not done with my thought

of you, earthed cursed love

I've got fights to have fought

and happy moments blessed from above



I remember saying yes on Jan. the third

but all is blank until my sweet sixteen

where I went to dinner with y'all and heard

your thoughts and your family as I sat between

you and nothing and smiled to myself

thinking that this was beautiful, I was happy

and I'd never be put on the shelf

still thinking so fucking sappy...



I remember eating several times together

each time I would listen silently

keeping my comments light as a feather

fearing of reactions violently...



But that's another time.

A newer rhyme.



Rewind a bit to Valentines Day

The poems and flowers and joy

the walks and talks and all to say

that you were playing, being sly; coy.



The day after, I'll leave it at that

but still... what a memory...

not yet a mat...

such a clear thing to see...



Soon after I asked you to handfast,

we'd been talking about it

never to know that happiness was past

and said "Why not, what time's fit?"



Exchange of gifts, promises made

cold winter's night,

and back in its shade

you had to go back, right?



For two or three months we

planned it all out and

we were... crumbling... all could see

and suddenly trick of flight from your hand.



"You lied to me" and then the sting

after the pain subsided on my cheek

I'd shut up and not move like a thing

while you'd start to shriek.



Lied lied lied, that's what you said.

My two faced one of inner light

And when we talked while on my bed

I swore I dreamed up the latest fight...



Couldn't seem possible that

I was being trained by you

as we conversed as we sat

but all the cautions heeded true.



Bent me, broke me,

I was to blame

Thinking I'd see

That it was a game.



No persuading got me to leave

though my friends tried hard

I just couldn't grieve

right about it as a shard



I stayed with you

through and through

I let you hit me

Blame me.



You left first, thought I'd cheat.

Like there was that chance

even when I was on my feet.

The nights away made you prance.



Yelling blaming

I remember you hating Chika.

Screaming shaming...

I remember you hating everyone.



Four days later I back to you

I remember it. I cherish it.

I was your property too,

a sculpture made bit by bit.



A new beginning,

a new time

a start to new sinning

the birth of new rhyme...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Continuation of Old Snapshot. ca 2004

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