PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Abstract words

Mean too much to convey a story.

My victories took me from too low

To be seen as high now.

I remember when I was her soldier

I remember winning for her;

And I know she calls me weak now.

I remember growing up enough to get her out of my life;

And I know I am still that blasted child.

I remember her hanging up on my father for me

And telling her I would’ve done the same;

And I remember wondering if I would have.

I remember they were a team,

Humiliating me in front of my silent cheerleaders;

They would be cheering me up when it was safe.

I remember making myself a fool just so she’d love me,

And I remember her laughing at such a loveable fool.

I remember thinking he could be my father

And realizing he didn’t care about me.

I remember waving to some bad loser,

At least he had always been nice to me;

I remember telling my cousin I loved her,

At least the ones I had loved did.

I remember finally feeling comfortable with them

And wanting to kill them,

Then I was mean.

I remember being silent,

I volunteered to suffocate the pleading

If they didn’t want to hear;

I thought if I bit the hook and gave them what they wanted

They might throw me back;

I figured if they thought I had given up on myself

And just wanted to be them,

They might take some mercy.

I remember hearing ‘men don’t have mercy,’

And that men shouldn’t love men;

I was in love with the idea of being a man.

I remember wondering what would happen

When my friend got to know me;

I remember feeling the same pain at the roof of my mouth

But this time I didn’t want to be thrown back,

I just wanted to focus on something

Other than the pain they would have focused on

As I evened up the score with Jesus.