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I mailed myself to Jessica Simpson's house
I mailed myself to Jessica Simpson's house in a cardboard box.
The postage was very expensive because I'm bigger than an ox.
I wanted Jessica and I to get married and have bliss.
The box stank and was soggy from my shit and piss.
When Jessica opened the box, she let out a scream that was loud enough to wake the dead.
She punched me in the nuts and then she kicked me in the head.
I loved sweet Jessica and I thought she'd love me as well.
But she had me arrested for trespassing and put me in jail.
