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People think I'm a beast because I'm hairy.

They run when they see me because they think I'm scary.

They think I'm bigfoot but that's not true.

They think that because I wear size eighteen shoes.

When people look at me, they think a monster is what they're seeing.

They're shocked when they learn that I'm just a hairy human being.

I went to a girl's house for a blind date and you should've saw her run.

I was sterile for a year because her dad shot me in the balls with a tranquilizer gun.

When I went to a diner last night, everybody ran.

I'm getting tired of people thinking I'm a monster just because I'm a hairy and smelly man.