I'm a politician but I'm not one who the people can trust.
Like Bill Clinton I'm fat and full of lust.
For years I've been dipping into the till.
I take a thousand here, a thousand there, it's easy to steal.
I drive a porsche and I own a yacht.
They'll throw my ass in jail if I get caught.
I've been a crooked politician for years.
I make promises while I campaign but I'm never sincere.
My wife says if I don't buy her a Rolls-Royce, she'll turn me in.
I guess I'll have to dip into the till again.
I wonder if people will ever find out that I've broken plenty of laws.
If I was an actor, I could play three roles in the Wizard of Oz.
I have no courage, no heart and no brain.
If you vote for me, you must be insane.
If you vote for my opponent, it will be for the best.
I've heard that he's actually honest.