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Stupid fruit!!!
Some fruit has totally ruined my sex life.
Since I bought it, I haven't made love to my wife.
She wanted oranges but I accidentally got tangerines instead.
Since then she has banned me from her bed.
I ask and ask her for sex but she keeps saying no.
When I come in the bedroom, she points at the door and says go.
I tried to make love to her while she was sleeping but she put a mousetrap in her vagina.
When it snapped shut on my penis, they could hear me scream all the way to China.
I'm sexually frustrated but my wife doesn't give a hoot.
All of this happened because of some stupid fruit.
