I made a mistake when I opened this cafe.
The food makes people sick and then they don't pay.
I happen to be the world's worst cook.
Today I had an accident while slicing some food and now I wear a hook.
My cooking is so bad that it actually killed a man and now his family is going to sue.
My prices are cheap but the food makes people vomit and it tastes worse than an old shoe.
The customers don't like me or this dump.
They're getting tired of having to have their stomachs pumped.
You'd better listen to the advice that I'm going to give you.
Don't eat here, it's untelling what it will do.