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My wife cut off my wiener while I was sleeping.

When I woke up, I started weeping.

I begged her to give it back so I could have it sewn back on.

I nearly died when she said it was gone.

She doused it in gasoline and burned it with a lighter.

I wasn't going to take this because I'm a fighter.

I invited her outside to have a fight.

I thought I'd win easily but she punched out my lights.

Every time I'd get up, she'd knock me back down.

It was embarrassing because she only weighs eighty pounds.

She cut off my wiener because she thought I was cheating.

I got my ass kicked when she gave me that beating.

She felt terrible when she learned that I hadn't cheated at all.

She cut off my dick and now all I have down there are my balls.

If you're a man, I have something to say to you.

Don't marry a wife like mine or you might lose your wiener too.