ALWAYS REMAIN A PART OF ME

Folder: 
Depression

You have to remember it won't go away,

Forever there, on my arms, in my head, always,

It's not something that a drug will cure,

It's not something that will go away,

These thoughts in my head, never going to stop,

No matter how hard you try, they will always be there.



What's wrong with me? I just want to be ok,

Live a normal life; not think like this,

Killing myself over and over, in my head,

Sometimes I wish it was real, I'd be gone,

Drowned in a bath, shot in the head, or,

Big red line down the inside of each wrist.



Hatred, anger, rage, death, murder, suicide, spinning in my head,

Betrayal, mistrust, sadness, crying, hurt, unloved,

A vicious circle spinning randomly in my head,

These and more will always remain a part of me,

I don't know why, I really don't care anymore,

The few good things in life, just out weigh the bad.



Mentally challenged, physically challenged, failing,

Drained, I feel drained, like a sponge from water,

My life slowly edging away to nothing, ceasing,

I shouldn't exist; I don't belong, out cast, fugitive,

Heart, soul, gaping black holes of nothing, unloved,

Not my fault I can't cope, exist, drained and depressed.



The same monotonous thoughts, day after day, month after month,

Invisible shackles holding me back, imprisoning me,

Spirit held against it's will in the shadow realm,

Close to death, smelling it, tasting it, seeing it,

Silver flecks in amongst the darkness, shining,

Almost calling to me, gleaming in the shadows.



A life shrouded in mist, cut off from others,

Slowly mentally deprived, insane behaviour, suicide,

Murder, family, people, I don't like killing myself,

Un-natural morbid thoughts, Satanic, deadly,

Too stupid to do anything right, I should quit,

Shove a knife through my wrist and be done with it,

Suicidal thoughts will always remain a part of me.

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Cierra Tyler's picture

i like this piece, i can relate to it.