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I said to you I love you, but I didn't mean it,

I'm sorry, I don't mean to hurt you, but I have,

The worst part of me, is the part you have,

I want my life back, i'm sorry, I really am sorry.



Let me make it upto you, I don't know how, but i'll try,

The very worst part of me, is you, I didn't mean it,

Let me take it all back, let me make it alright,

If only I could, but I can't, maybe I wanted to hurt you.



Then it's all gone, my life wasted, gone, non-existant no more,

So many things you have said to me to make me like you,

I meant only a fraction of those I said to you,

You knew lies would divide us from eachother, I lied to you.



Then it's all gone, all gone, all gone, all gone, GONE,

Never to be here again, my life a waste of time,

I didn't mean to be nasty, to lead you on, I don't love you,

It's so much easier to run, than to face my pain i've caused you.



Something has been torn from inside of me, my loyalty to tell the truth,

Replacing my pain with something else, but what?!

I want to let go and never look back, wash it to the side,

Pretending I don't feel this pain is simpler than feeling it.



It's so much easier to say it and not mean it, than to say it and mean it,

Retrace my steps in life, never meet you, maybe it would be ok then,

Probably not, nothing is ever that simple, never will be,

No matter what I do, i'm going to hurt you, i'm sorry.



Time won't tell if theres any damage still in years to come,

Listen to me, I don't want to hurt right now,

I didn't mean it, I want you to still like me,

I know that will never happen now, I don't love you.



Shot myself in the head, killed myself, distorted now,

You became a part of me, I took it and hated that part,

Why I ever lead you on is a misbelief of mine,

I let myself become lost within these dreams and thoughts.



Opening the wounds to hell, breaking up again,

I don't want to be the one that is more hurt,

Yet I don't want you more hurt, I do care, just, not like that,

I should break my habbit of leading people on, but I can't.



Locking the door I try to breath, it's useless, I can't breath,

I'm the one that's confused inside really, not you, it's all my fault,

I'll pain a picture of death, i'm the one at fault, not you,

This is how it ends, my clarity is fading and now misted.



The pain of letting you see this is unreal, sore, hurting, burning,

Yet I still do it, why, I don't want to hurt you, honnest,

I don't know who to trust, happy thoughts in darkness and lies,

Putting my trust in you, drains me of my life, and happiness.



I can't trust myself with you no longer, happyness into oblivion,

Thoughts of deceit, lies, unrealistic happenings, yes they are true,

I won't waste my time any longer, I have to come clean,

I'll take everything from the inside, and burn it, throw it away.



For the last time I can't trust myself with you any more,

Heart full of pain, head throbbing from sadness,

Everyone ignores the things I say anyway, just ignore it,

No-one listens to me, no-one bothers with me that much anyway.



I should be weeping, and yet im not, I wonder why,

Tired of being what i'm wanted to be, I want to be ME, not you!

Every step that I take, must be like you, not like me,

My life a big hole of pain and pressure to be something i'm not.



Everything you want me to be, i'm not, that's my decision, not yours!

I'm becoming like you, and I hate it, i'm going to fail,

Someone was disappointed in you, so I have to be your disappointment,

Your life nothing now you don't have me.



I'm lying my way from you, let me take it all back,

I want to be on both sides, no pain there,

I'd rather be all alone, alone to think this through,

How much i'm hurting you, how much i'm not.