PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I look at my blade, dark stains of blood from last night,

Remembering the feeling as it cut so effortlessly into me,

Sliding along and through my healed flesh, to make it once again cut,

The dreamy feeling of the blood flow, gently soothing my mind.



Looking around for my friends at school, never finding them,

Aching for my lost friend to come back to my heart,

Doubting that he will and would want to,

Feeling in perpetual loneliness, even when i'm surrounded.



Twisting in pain in my head, dreams and under the blade,

Feeling my old blade's serrated edge, jagger my flesh,

The blade trembling in my hand, as I go to cut, how deep?

Not bothering or caring if I die, prefer it if I died.



Purple, blue, grey bruising on my arm, around the memory,

Slowly turning green, then yellow, then disappearing,

I know it will be back, sooner than later,

My whole life shrouded in blackness and loneliness.



Fearing for my own safety and sanity in this world,

Hating just about everything there is to live for,

Wanting someone to confide in, and them in me as well,

It's me against life and the world, hope that I just die!



I don't care who see's my markings or my scars,

I'm a troubled child, hope you know that I can't love you,

Crying as I get beaten up, crying at the pain I enjoy,

My body numb from the pain and hurting.



Knowing I can never confide in anyone, the way I want to,

The happiest day in everyone's life, will be the day I die,

I know I was never much of a friend, but I kept your secrets,

Everyone's secrets go with me to the grave and beyond.



The loneliness and solitude that I live in, is ok after a while,

A little lonely but, it's ok, I have the voices in my head,

I have the music I listen to, that's nothing like what I want,

I want to be accepted, liked, hell even loved by someone, that'll never happen.



I want to know what it's like to be loved, to feel special,

To trust someone with my deepest secrets, my dark life,

The never ending hate, it will always haunt me,

Forever, living and when i'm dead, you'll smile!



I think i'm going insane, put me in a padded room,

Commit me to an insane asylum now, so I don't get worse,

A pink padded cell, white straight jacket and no window,

My life a mess, my head fucked up, never being free!



You mourn my death for a day and then just erase me from your head,

I never existed to you, never walked the earth's face,

Erased from your head, memory and life, I cry!

You existed to me, how can I not to you?



I'm in constant loneliness, from friends, family, love and trust,

Tears streaming down my face, my body shaking with fear,

I don't care if i don't exist to you, then you don't to me either,

I guess i'm all bitter in my loneliness, evil and insane.



Answer me this, what do I have to live for?

What do I have in life? love and friends?