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It gives me something nothing else can give me,

It gives me something that only it can give,

It brings me pain, hurt, release, pleasure,

But I need my best friends more than I need it.



Pain dwells inside of me, fire burning,

Flames so hot they could burn a hole,

Pains so badly like,

A fatal knife stab to the heart and soul.



Best friends mean more to me than anyone else,

My boyfriend, one of my best friends,

My blade, not a friend, an enemy,

My sweet release.



The sweet release of the harsh pulling of my skin,

The sweet release of the coolness of my blood,

The sweet release of the pain as it rubs on my clothes,

The sweet release of the ecstasy running through my body.



How much I long for this,

How much I think I need this,

How much I know how it hurts them,

How much I think I need it, I do not.



The edge digging in, deep, true, at times too deep,

Ripping away at my flesh, leaving a mark,

Swelling and bursting my flesh opens up,

Spills blood everywhere, me, my knife, and my clothes.



Swelling and healing, rubbing and irritation,

Tearing of the scab, bleeding again, more irritation,

Smiling as the pain is nice, gives me a bit of release,

The dark side of me, my innocence is lost, lost to my knife.



One day it will kill me, hope it doesn’t, I hope I never do it,

Never want you to see me go like this, not like this, not fair,

Don’t want to have to give you a last kiss goodbye, not like that,

I want to be with you forever, my best friends, forever and ever.



My heart craves for this release, my arms burn for it, and my wrists too,

How I love it too, but I hate it at the same time,

Wishing I had never even tried it, the ecstasy is too great,

Far above my normal world, I lay in bliss.



My icon, my higher power, my knife,

Dominating me when I'm vulnerable,

When I am depressed and easy,

Consuming everything on my mind, but that.



I wait for my release,

Think I need it,

Do I need it?

Do I really need to hurt those around me?



Crying at the thought of leaving them alone,

Alone in a god forsaken, cruel and shameless world,

Without me, without hope, without a part of them,

Sitting there I think, think of it, of the pain.



Pain in my head, my demon torments,

My demon plays and seduces,

Flashing angrily at me, inside of me,

Consuming my body until I do it.



To be strong I must release something else,

Remove my body from the shackles my demon holds on me,

Realise what I'm doing, what’s going on,

Who I’m leaving behind, hurting, and killing part of.



Never feeling what I feel,

Never knowing my needs,

Never understanding what goes on inside my head,

Always seeing the outside, never the inside.