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It is 3:33 and Im up again. You are not here. You haven't been here in in quiet a while. All that is left is a picture or two and maybe an old ratty shirt that still lingers with your smell. I just want to sleep but I can't. My eyes and nostrils still burn. All the tears I have cried could have filled rivers. Why cant I move on and get over you? People say all I need is time. I hope and pray that time heals me and makes me forget. 

It is 3:33 and Im up again. I feel better but still hurting. I dont cry as  much as I once did. I have put up all my photos of you and don't look at them anymore. Somehow I always seem to get my friends to bring your name up in conversation. I still like to talk about you. Hopefully I am getting closer to moving on. Maybe just a little more time. 

It is 3:33 and Im up again. Why did you do this again? I was moving on and getting over you. You didn't have to come back to me and then leave me again. You promised me it was going to be different this time. You made so many promises. You were ready for us to be us again. I thought I had my best friend and soul mate back. Why? I dont understand. What did I do? Dont you love me like I love you? You say your sorry but you just can't stay. You have to go back to her. The one you left me for in the beginning. You broke my heart all over again. You say we will always be connected no matter what. If I hear a song I should think of you, if I look in the sky to the stars I should think of you. You say you will never stop loving me. If this all true then why not stay. Once again I'm alone. I dont want to go through all of this again. Just time I guess. 

It is 3:33 and Im up again. Time has passed and I feel better but still somewhat sad. I dont talk about you anymore, I hardly even cry. But why am I still waking up thinking about you? I haven't seen you in so long. I cant help but wonder how is your life going, are you happy, do you ever think about me, do you miss me.   What if I could just see you for a minute or have a quick conversation. No I must not. Stop being stupid I tell myself. He doesnt miss me or think about me even if he did so what he left me more than once. No I will try to stop thinking about him. I just need to go back to sleep. Sleep and more time and he will just be a very distant memory. 

It is 3:33 and Im up again. I have met someone and we are going to marry. We are very happy and he is a great guy. He loves me so much and would never do what you did to me. But here I am up again thinking of you. I have these memories of how I thought our wedding would look. You would of been a very handsome groom. Well Im sure you were just not my groom. I think of what our children would of looked like and us growing old sitting on our front porch. I just cant let go of those memories. Maybe more time. That's it just a little more time. 

It is 3:33 and Im up again. My days are filled with joy and love. The love of my husband and my children. I have finally gotten over you and moved on. No more tears I cry. Even though my days are great and you don't cross my mind at all that isn't the same for my dreams. Sometimes I am still awaken at night by dreams of you. They wake me up and sadden me. How am I suppose to stop my dreams? Maybe they will never stop. Maybe a this is something time cant get rid of. Maybe you will always be a part of me. You are my past and you will always be somewhere in the back of my head. My heart is no longer broken and maybe being awaken at night by a dream of you isnt so bad. You won't ever break my heart again so time really did heal me.