The Hell Of Living On the DL

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Look at how you have killed! All for a quick sexual thrill!

You were trusted, and now you’re busted the lie is out.

Without a doubt the tests has come back positive, and so many will not live the same lives as in the past, all because of a piece of ass.



Why couldn’t we see you were not on the up and up? Why were we caught up in a dream, under love’s spell? We lovingly come willingly, blindly, and unknowingly into your sexual hell?



Loving men who live to bed women, and men has long been viewed as a sin. Quite frankly, I do not wish to or have the right to be your judge. The judgment is left for you and the Lord to ponder. Nevertheless, I do wonder if you know how, when and where it all began? What made you the lover of man?



I am doing my best to understand what makes you turn to another man’s arms for his love and affection? Is it because he can produce and erection, and that I cannot do? You are my husband, father, brother, son, lover, or man! No matter who, I love you!



I now know that there was nothing I could have done, or can do to keep you mine alone. No matter what I did or will do, because to your sexual identity you cannot be true and you and your spirit will continue to roam.



So, consequently, women are now left dying from this virus why us? There are no words to of consolation will erase the complexities of our dilemma’s There seems no way out of this mess, I must confess I would like to really know how and when your choice was made to cross the hellish line?



Could it have happen in your momma’s womb, was that what caused the trauma? Or was it the drama of you being you possibly molested or raped? Now your unprotected sexual adventures have sealed all our fate. And this subject will continue to remain a most unyielding heated debate?



Did you ever stop to think that we should have been told initially of your sexual identity? Then we could have made the choice, and had a voice in our lives before it came to this? Your sexual choice put us all at risk.



Oh how sad it is, due to shame guilt, and fear my dear that you could not even begin to confide what pain and hurt you did have to hide.

Will the day ever come which we will enlighten us?



Such a terrible awful shame that so many are dead, and more will have died, because you have kept your secret secretly.  

You’ve set up the catastrophe that will potentially kill you and me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

After reading J.L. King's book, and seeing him on Oprah's show I wrote this to the men on the DL...

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Ruth Lovejoy's picture

I think this is a profound piece ,however your own personal anger on this one I would have stated outright instead of re: let the Lord handle, yes let him handle the big picture but voice strongly your own contempt for this going on. There was anger but subtle anger and since this is a big issue well,that is what I would have done. Hey you asked me to be direct. Everything else I've seen you've written has been excellent and perfect. This one is profound but needs to show more stronger anger of your own. You see you say in one stanza you are trying to understand but midway of understanding there is anger for why it is happening at all and for not understanding why it its happening. See what I mean? HOpe you're not pissed at me for saying this..