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Suicide
It's just a thought in the back of my mind
something i can think of when i'm losing my mind
everything was going well until today
mayby if i dissapear it will all go away
a m i sure that the solution is commiting suicide?
sometimes i fear it is
but will i do it that's the one thing that's hard to decide
my family ,my friends what will they think of all this?
at my funural will their faces be filled with sadness?
when i die will i get rid of all this emptyness?
will it be to late for forgiveness?
maybe i'll do it after i gather up with my family once more and watch the sunset
if this is the awnser to my problems then why do i feel so upset?
will i stay in my family's memories?
or will i fade away in history?
will i join God in in heaven,a place with no war nor weapons?
or will i join his opposit in a world filled with demons?
so many questions to ask
so many questios to awnser
today i will not die that is for sure
but tomorrow will my life crumble up into pieces and fade away?
or will it go on and stay the same in every way?
Hey it's me again. This subject is one that is more rather frightening. I believe that unless you are living in care bear land everyone thinks of this, not of the suicide bombing in Isreal but of actually doing it or at least what everyone would think and do. I have. but i have found that in my situation it was that something in my life was wrong and that i didn't have as much control over it as i should have had. Then i made some changes and started taking time out to sit and make myself think things over(which is something that is hard for me to do) It helped because i found out what was wrong and i thought of ways to make it better then i started telling myself 24/7 how great a person i was and i think i'm starting to believe it. i started to do the things i told myself to do and slowly i see how the more courage i take to do the things the better my life gets. I seems to help me, you should try it. i mean i know it's hard like when you see yourself in the mirror and you burst out in tears because you don't have the "accepted" figure that society makes up, but you seriously have to take a minute and say that's society or followers who think that, and you are not a copy, you are an original and then the hardest part, tell yourself you are beautiful. how your legs aren't really that out of porportion and that the hair actually makes you look slim. It was hard for me .. i felt like such a geek and like i was actually doing the stupid things you learn about in advisory about bullying. but from experience i know it works. I once read vanity gives you self esteem. I thought about it and then it made sense if i compare my body to Britney spears i'm going to feel down, but if i compare it to the "fat" girl in science class i'm going to feel good. It's mean but this is about your path to happines and if vanity gives you self esteem then do it. Okay now to the poem, I congradulate you to have the guts to write about this. It's a good poem and on such a large subject sometimes poems get sidetracked onto other things, unlike this poem.which is really great. critiques? nah. it's not one of my faves but the way it's writen for the subject is good. lastly i heard an opinion on suicide once that said "people commiting suicide are losers, their excuse: they don't have a good life. who does? they took the easy way out, they gave up and they quit. that's a reason alone to die" I was upset about it but i thougt about it for a long time and it really came to "don't be a quitter and commite suicide, be a winner and find a way to happiness, that's a reason alone to stay alive" That's the way you have to look at it , there is a solution to everything, the solution along with happiness is around the corner or 5 km.either way happiness is there and YOU can and will find it! -luv mine *There is a sorta corny but good article in the Cosmo g!rl issue of June/July 2001*