PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

by Jeph Johnson

my friend John
is proud to admit to his cynicism
he calls it "realistic fatalism"
or "fatalistic realism"
or something like that

this outlook

tends to push a lot of people away
but John is quick to note:

"So Be It!" 

then he sighs and says it again
much slower...

"So. Be. It."

he feels
they are not true friends
if they are not willing to accept
his downs with the ups

the other day
I was thinking about
the woman I pledged
my undying love to

(not that she ever asked
for that sort of devotion)

ok, it was just last night.
okay, it was a few hours ago
alright....fine!
I'm thinking about her now! 

let's get on with the story.....

I was out at a different bar
a cowboy bar called
"The Ponderosa Lounge"
(she hates country music)
and the fucking
Golden Globe awards
were on a big screen TV
intended for football games 

I was trying to think about other things 

while humming a George Strait song
but before our fight
we had planned
to snuggle on my couch
and watch the awards together
rooting for our favorite actors
cheering on
"Scrubs"
our favorite show
(she's studying to be a nurse)

God,
I don't even know if it was nominated
but in any case
the tears broke through
the barrier I had
tried to put in place

after shaking my head
I dried my eyes...

if George Strait
had to ride along with
the memory
of his Honky-Tonk angel
I'd have to nurse
her memory alone

so I went back to
the karaoke bar
where John hangs out
and I will occasionally
sing a country song

John at the bar's
"fatalistic realism"
was comforting...

"you are not supposed to cry
just because something
happens to be on TV"

sure it was an awards show
but I didn't win
I didn't know any one who won
no one even thanked me in
any acceptance speeches
it was like John
had already watched it
and knew all the winners already