It's always a night like this one.
When joy, happiness, love, and compassion
Mutates into a being I never see him associate with.
It's scary
And nearly demeaning
That on a simple occasion
I am left so hurt,
Broken and torn,
As he lays face-down,
Closing his eyes.
Lonliness creeps into bed with me like a fatal sickness
Haunting me for seven hours until I kick and scream,
Running into his arms for shelter
When I know it will only happen again that night.
"What to do," I ask myself
Lying back in bed.
The hours run miles of laps in my mind
And a critical finger pulls out the issues.
More monsters are at my bedside now,
Poking me with harsh words and complicated memories.
I want to cry and scream and apologize even though I'm not in the wrong,
So I may never need to say I'm sorry again.
I have love.
I have a life and a future with him.
Here is our foundation, hunny,
You're suffocating it.
Step off it's neck so maybe we can build on it.
I love you.
As the night continues,
Of course I forgive
And without second thought,
Forget.
Tears drown my sorrow and emotionally unstable head.
But when she begins breathing again,
She acts as if nothing bad ever happened.
She wants to keep it that way.