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Emotional wreck

Spiritually failed again

Making myself forget

All of this pain



Never feel again

Each time I feel

Numb it with pain

My emotions aren’t real



Beat me to death

Close my eyes

One last time

Muffle my last cries



Screaming inside

Quietly mutter the words

This pain that I hide

Is my own surreal curse



Awaken in the midst of everything

No one knows what I hide

No one suspects a thing

No one knows I lied



I’m fine, I’m up and alert

I’m great, I’m okay

No, my feelings weren’t hurt

I fib out these words I say



Smiling sweetly, pretending I care

You think I love you, but I don’t

There’s no emotions there

I can’t feel anything so I won’t



Blood on the blade of the knife

I use to cut my pain out of my life

5 crosses, 2 hearts and a rose

I bled my emotions comatose



Don’t call to say you love me

You, nor anyone else ever did

I have pain you can’t possibly see

Because it’s numb where it hid



You say you’re sorry everyday

Well I’m sorry I looked your way

Prove to me that you love me like you claim

You can’t, cuz like everyone, you’re just the same



If I keep writing I can drown myself

In a pool of emotions and mindless thoughts

Hide my heart on the highest shelf

Where it will never be caught



I have too much baggage with me

And I’ve yet to claim it all

It’s too much for me to carry

I’d pick it up, but then I’d fall



Cross that blade over my wounds

Once again, I crave to draw the blood

My body’s marked up by things I do

In an attempt to numb the love