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Anyone who doesn't believe in love at first sight has never had a child. > Karyn Indursky

As all of you know, I never knew I was pregnant until I was in labor with Conner and it sitll didn't sink into me until he was out and I was looking at him in my arms. I don't remember too terribly much from that day though because I had lost 4 pints of blood, was in shock, and had extremely low iron. There are details of the delivery that I could tell you nad have told you. But lately I've been thinking about that and I honestly don't remember ever really sharing the emotions I felt. The first emotion I felt was pure shock. The second emotion I felt was awe, amazement, like I had been blessed by God, and yes these emotions were all at once. The next feeling I had was pure fear. I was afraid he wasn't going to be able to breathe or wouldn't have enough fingers or toes, etc. Then, I was remember thinking that he looked just like Greg. After that moment, everything was kind of hazy. I know when I was feeling all the emotions I don't remember most of the pain or even feeling myself physically there. I remember the intense emotions, but physically I don't remember much except that after those floods of emotions that shock set in even more and I didn't feel like I was really there anymore. I couldn't feel my body really there and I didn't have a thought or emotion left in my head. The only thing I could do was watch and listen. I don't remember much about the people arriving to take care of Conner and me. I don't remember how I got on the gurny or anything. I remember them doing his umbical cord, but I was pretty far out of it. I didn't really want them to take my baby from me, but I knew they had to take care of him and I was enough there to realize I could barely stay conscious let alone assist with Conner. I don't remember most of the ambulance ride either. I do remember vaguely thinking of names for Conner and when I stumpled across his name it felt right and I knew at that very instant, second that I had the right name. I don't remember my arrival at the hospital. Going into the room is pretty much a blur. I do remember the lady that had to stitch me from the tearing. I remember thinking she was a complete bitch who shouldn't be allowed to wait on patients.  She was very rough about it and even when she told me what she was going to do and why she wasn't nice about it. I don't remember getting sent up to my room, but I do remember the need, the urgent need to see my mom, the want and need to see Conner, and the urgent need to let Greg know he was/is a father. Anyway, now, everyone knows about the emotions I felt on October 26, 2006 when my son, Conner Michael Indursky, was born.