Author Information
Gray Matter
I am very busy with things now
don't think i'm doing something wrong
I am doing the things I'm supposed to
don't look at me
please watch, i have things to do
people to see and I don't do that, that would be wrong
there are Times when I'm overwhelmed with busy, busy
and want to know what could possibly be the point
but mostly i'm happy and enjoy my life
i'm happy
i can't get him out of my head
he's in my thoughts and heart
and i just really am overwhelmed
by the need to touch, touch his body
close to his heart
his arms wrapped around
i want to grab his neck and press my body to his
but not kiss, i don't think
just look at him and stroke his face and cuddle him
to look into his eyes and hear his voice and see his smile and smile back
that large, heart-warming, the sun is shining and wind is blowing kind of happy
it bubbles up and bubbles out. and i have it
and i need it
and i'm not sure how to say no to it
should i even, if i had to?
could i?
is this wrong? this want for peace
peace for my tortured, happy soul?
isn't this life? why run
to avoid hurt and pain to others?
i do love them
I do want to protect them
I do want them happy
but they want that for me as well, don't they?
is there a line?
is it blurred?
maybe a gradient of appropriate grayness exists?
how can i find where i belong? what shade of gray am I?
how pallor my skin? is it even mine? how deep does it go?
what stroke of gray hides the elusive balance of color?
where will i find my perfect shade of happy gray?
