I'm not sure what im supposed to do. Speak or not? I was convinced to open my mouth, now I don't have to. Hope you know anxiety isnt an easy task. I feel like ive been in a bubble that cant be popped, or a shell that won't crack. I know you want me to help you pull me out ........please just have patience would you? I feel like my innerself is only half free, and that the first tunnel i got out of was only the beginning of a journey that might take over my life if i don't do something. I wanna do something but I am juggling 2 other journeys as well. Like geez its tough. Let me meditate. Let me calm my mind, my soul, all of me. its the only medication i couldnt possibly die from. I have lots of work to do, but if i can spend hours cleaning up after people then surely i can do this hard work too. i just have to find where to start. im nervous, im scared, i wanna do all this for us, for you, but its nervewrecking in a sense, just because its all new. Its a challenge. So give me the patience.....even if it means no word from you for a night or two. Im not going insane because now im used to it i think. But still i can do it. I just need assurance youre there. Always. Just like you say you will be. i just need you to let me go at my pace....but not so slow i take forever. Because ive waited long enough i think. Just let me do what i need to do. Let me go at my pace. I can do this, i promise.