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4-2-01



I walk through

The Cemetery

Alone as always

I approach your grave

An uneasiness

Washes over me

I reach out and brush

My knuckles over the

Cold stone

Allowing a tear to

Escape out unto

My face

Why should

I hold it in here?

No one can see

      I Freeze  

Those thoughts

Come rushing back

To me again

Your death it plays over

And over and over again

In my head like

A CD player

That won't stop skipping

Never threatening to stop

Over and over and over

      // I am there

You lie,

A bloody mess

On the concrete

I wanted to help as

You reach out to me

I do not, I run

I run for all hell

Never looking back

I am hoping, I hope

It is all a bad dream

That if I only hurry home

You will be there

Waiting for me.//

I wish it all had been

But a dream

Your bloody body

I cannot get those

Images to leave my mind

I fall to the ground

On my knees

Covering my face

I am hysterical

Barely holding unto

My reality

I wish for mercy

To engulf my nightmare

I beg for it

I pray for it

But in my heart I know

There is no mercy

Available for the

Merciless

And yet I pray

That one-day

I will awaken to find

My life to have been

Only my worst nightmare

With no hint

Of reality