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ANTS IN YOUR PANTS
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE EXPRESSION ANTS IN YOUR PANTS...DO YOU HAVE ANTS IN YOUR PANTS...SIT STILL...WELL ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE STORY OF MY LIFE I ACTUALLY DID HAVE ANTS IN MY PANTS...I WOKE UP WITH THIS MEMORY FROM A LONG TIME AGO WHEN I WAS A YOUNG KID...SO...WE WERE AT THE CEMETERY VISITING MY DAD'S PARENTS...OUR GRANDPARENTS WHO WE WERE TOO LITTLE TO REMEMBER OR HAD NEVER MET. I HAD SEEN A PICTURE AND FAMILY MOVIE OF MY DAD'S MOM GRANDMA HOLDING ME IN HER ARMS WHEN I WAS A BABY BUT I DON'T REMEMBER HER. SHE DIED WHEN I WAS ONLY A YEAR OLD AND MY DAD'S DAD GRANDFATHER DIED WHEN HE GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL SO I NEVER MET HIM...HE WAS GONE BEFORE I WAS BORN...ANYWAY WE WERE ALWAYS WANDERING OFF PLAYING IN THE CEMETERY WHILE MY PARENTS WERE WEEDING OR PUTTING IN FLOWERS. I REMEMBER WE WERE PLAYING WITH SOME ANTS. THERE WERE A WHOLE BUNCH OF THEM CRAWLING AROUND BY A GRAVESTONE. WE WERE DOWN ON THE GROUND WATCHING THEM. I DON'T REMEMBER EXACTLY HOW WE WERE PLAYING WITH THEM BUT WE WERE DISTRACTED THERE FOR QUITE AWHILE. OUR PARENTS CAME AND SAID IT WAS TIME TO GO SO WE RELUCTANTLY LEFT THE ANTS AND HEADED TO THE CAR. I WAS IN THE BACK SEAT AND SQUIRMING AROUND. I FELT SOMETHING IN MY PANTS AND WAS TRYING TO GET IT OUT. MY MOM WAS YELLING SIT STILL. QUIT DIGGING IN YOUR PANTS....SOMETHING WAS PINCHING ME SO I KEPT DIGGING TRYING TO GET IT OUT. MY MOM WAS LIKE WHAT'S THE MATTER...YOU GOT ANTS IN YOUR PANTS...I FINALLY GOT A HOLD OF SOMETHING AND PULLED IT OUT...I WAS LIKE YA MOM I DID HAVE ANTS IN MY PANTS...SEE...I WONDER HOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE HAVE ACTUALLY HAD ANTS IN THEIR PANTS OR WAS IT JUST ME...WHERE DID THAT EXPRESSION COME FROM ANYWAY...THERE MUST BE SOME TRUTH TO IT...THERE WAS WITH ME ANYWAY...HAVE YOU EVER HAD ANTS IN YOUR PANTS...
