THE MISSING LIST

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JOURNAL # 41

few things in this world have I ever truly missed

yet in my mind so many mental snap shots that

I have of you and hold so very dear reveal themselves

to me

and as I go over them, my heart slows its beat

I miss the sight of your face as you are stepping out

of the shower

your hair so wetly splashed over your forehead 

your eyes the color of warm spectacular coal

glistening so deeply with love as you look at me

curiously surprised

those numerous afternoons and nights out sitting across

from you at lunch or dinner

the warmth and conversation flowing so stunningly beautiful

between us

that later in the night we both would invariably comment

on how wonderful earlier that day had been well even into

the evening

how so often you would catch me studying your face intently

and cock up those dark eyebrows as if to ask what

and I would confess I am taking mental snap shots of you for

the days to come when you are so very far from me

now through those very pages gathered, my eyes begin to skim 

you in profile out on the street as we are about to cross

so proud and savage you look but so very kind and strong as well

how handsome and carefree you appear while laughing in conversation

throwing up your hands this way and that to make some proposed point

with the Indian waiters engrossed as they were in your uproarious tale

My eyes devoured you so many times in those unguarded moments

and in the room, my head upon your bare shoulder, you watching television

and how you would feel my eyes upon you and cast your own into the path

of mine

such sweet, little boy eyes you had then

and as you would, speak my eye line would stray to your mouth

how I loved your lips with their polished though misaligned teeth 

and how they would softly move as you explained such lovely thoughts

of yours to me

first in one of your mother tongues and then the translation so carefully

into English 

those moments above me when we in such an intimate tangle

that look of pure amazement that scampered across your features

as you loved me so completely yours

and it's not just looks but things you would say and you alone know what

they are but I'll never share them with this page 

they are too private, too intimate and nobody but us has any rights to those

now never again can I go to Mcdonalds and eat a big mac without you coming

so immediately to my mind.

you with your pepper sprinkled ketchup muscling the french fries until they were

all fully dragooned 

there are just a thousand little moments that sparkle so lovely

you can't just know how much I love that you so dearly do love me.................

(Dec. 8, 2013 705am)

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For he whom my heart continously beats for............

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