Author Information
CHARRED TO THE BONE
Folder:
JOURNAL # 41 she would have you believe
she is 'Charred To The Bone'
a miserly cup of disturbed neurons
anxious molecules perhaps even
binding to fuse
burning out the truth of
their worth
with a snake like hiss
but all I see is a hurting woman
who is oh so angry
and she cannot break through
that hate thick wall
she built out of fear so long ago
trapped in her own pain
she reflects the lovely crumbs
she has collected
abstractly over the years
and passes them out
to strangers
to lure them close
with an idea that she is so nice
but the hate and distrust
deflect any possible hope
for a more meaningful
and productive interaction
for with each minute imperfection
revealed to her by another
it gets pounced upon
clobbered with decades of distrust
furiously lobbed back with such
vicious fury
it's all she has ever known
tidbits she regularly
brings to light
reflections from
bad choices of friendships made
and mutually destroyed
it saddens the inner heart
to realize that
beneath all those bound and jagged
ragged layers of devastated experiences
lies a scared little girl
that has not yet learned
how to love and accept others
along with their many diverse flaws
like a full grown woman would do
she has let every apple rot and
infect every other carton of pectin
produce after that
I pray for her still
that she will stop finding so much fault
in the tiniest misunderstandings
and be more kind to herself
as I know she would like to be
to so many others
to find her way out of this terrible loop
she has gotten herself in
tarring everyone with the same foul brush
she was unfairly tarred with by God knows who
and when
the world holds no perfection in its axes to share
I admire her brave trudge
and in many ways I am certain
she is wholly misunderstood
but she doesn't help her cause much
by jumping to such damned conclusions
long before all the facts are in
some people are indeed their own
worst enemy
and they get in their own way
a million times over
never stepping out of it long enough
until they take their last shaky breath
and escape the hell that is the darkness
of their own polluted mind's nasty habit
of making them believe
nobody loves them nor will they ever
deserve to be loved in a manner that
will never live up to love being offered
so perfectly
that is an illusion we all must over come
as we dream..............
(Dec. 27, 2011 149pm)
