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so defiant

and confidant

you've become

throwing down your

gauntlet of challenge

like I'm suppose to pick it up

crazy to think you can make me

when all you have made me to date

is very hurt, then angry and laughing

you flushed a toilet three times

before an open public

and what we had

went down that drain

I'm not as stupid or spineless

as you think I am

you can't seem to understand

that your litany of I'm sorry does

not take back the gouges you put

in my heart

I guess you are use to weak women

who will do your bidding

no matter how badly you treat them

and ones you can command to obey you

this woman is nothing like

the ones you are use to

you obviously don't know my Mama

she gave me a spine of steel

and the courage to stand up for myself

and call out my attacker

I know abuse when I read it

and I don't respond at all to abuse

I abhor it

and walk away from it just as fast as

my legs can carry me

we discussed this whole ugly scene

earlier

just as you asked

but nothing changes

you showed me what you are really like

when you are angry

you chose the words you wrote

you can't blame me for your words

I did not put a gun to your head and

dictate to you what to write

you made that choice to get hateful and

nasty and low and do so in a very public venue

you wanted to hurt me and

you were out for blood

now man up to the fact you did

and your actions butchered up my love for you

and tossed it back in my face like it was

some foul dirty shard of glass that you

could not stand laying in your eye

you taught me my lesson

and lost me in the same moment

you achieved your end goal

and got the pound of flesh you wanted

and slaughtered a heart

that once would have willingly taken

a bullet for you

Your apologies are no balm for the

wounds you inflicted

so take responsibility for your actions

realize your miscalculation

and move on

you tried to destroy the one woman

who loved you

and you are just angry now that

you can't have her back

now that you have once again

changed your mind about her

and think she's again worthy

of being loved

by you........................

(Nov. 14, 2009 502am)