we suffer
when its only the pleasure
of each other that
we seek
so many times
you seem to lose me
just when I think
you have found me
I miss you when you are gone
I don't think you realize this
and yet its hell so often when you are around
like you are a bull and I'm some awful red rag
being waved before your glittering eyes
I say the wrong thing
and I am sanctioned by your offended wrath
you are a man of strong opposing sides
and I am a woman who sometimes needs to
get away from you
just to cry
whenever I seem to be getting too close
you throw down the friendship card
it is
in a way
a safety wall
from which
you can duck behind
and hide
you say
I'll always be your friend
and yet
you do things that are so un-friend-like
and more so
so very lover like
and its those moments
that throw my heart for a loop
to the point where I can't control its beating
whenever your presence is so strongly felt................
(July 14, 2008 618am)