once, I was cold
where as now I am not
though my discretions lay wounded
where my good intentions were shot
still, two flawless steps from a quaint
imperfection I stand
scheming to retire the punctured doubts of
dread
while no silver tongued words cross my hand
the tireless consequences that call to my
creativity
remain ever the elusive to the greater wealth
of knowledge
jabbing in my head
as the glittering band of friendless trepidation
plays on
I scramble to hear the keys of magic as they
clink
just out of reach from my dribbling wand
this not now so clever pen's ink
her majesty, this page
she listens to my garbled council
her head nods none too knowingly
as she delivers me but one spare scowl
to be one with such unexpressed anonymity
can become a rather sore reflection of injustice
stalking thoughts backwards to the front
of all my mind's halls
I react first to my own best sage
and my wit grows more focused and blunt as I
wallow in these shallow waters of self
inflicted rage......................
(Jan. 4, 1996)