a rainy Sunday evening
lost with you in my thoughts
the marvel and the wonder
keep me chained to just a
little clarity
though I know not with what
have I finally truly found you
almost too fearfully I ponder
yet doubt she slyly whispers
probably not
but still the endless nagging
questions
rivet me beyond the brutal monotony
that has long since taken hostage
my ever so fretful heart
a billowing softness of muted
discovery sleepily jars my feverish
state
in my calloused weak clutches
I hold a much too vague photograph
why the man could be one of any
number of men
yet still I grasp to whatever possible
notion I can
to ascertain whether or not
he is indeed my him
so many elements of his not so
terribly common life
match the secret but scratchy details
that only my soul doth fully know
if only something much more tangible
would slash me to a greater certainty
then belief in the inevitable
wouldn't battle and bruise me so
I harbor no ill will towards the
frustrating sources that seem to guide
me through such emotional storm
I just wish I could somehow obtain a far
better foot hold on this blasted wall
of questions within me that has been
to date so cleverly shorn..............
(Feb. 22, 1998)