READING SELF PITY'S PEDIGREE

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JOURNAL #19

the fickle fog slipped silently away

from the night chilled banks of the

Ohio's most eerie stretch of its muddied river

as breaking free of me as well

there came a deep yet

surreptitiously unsurpassed

all over shiver

why my very fear itself from me tried to flee

intensity rapped my raw emotions bare knuckles

while dashing behind my engrossed foolish thoughts

I fancied myself near that to some ancient

Victorian idea of being all a flush and poignantly

a quiver

well, what a dirty snifter full of port that

turned out to be

when in modern fact

I am just a scared little girl

playing in one of mother's many self destructive

moods

self pity

a most punishing little practice

when one is in any such unsettling state of

mind...................

(Sept. 28, 1998)






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