an almost greedy captivation
trails quite silently behind
the fire that tirelessly pelts
my candid thoughts
a prettily pruned precipice
approaches
and its magnetic emotions
lure me to brush myself
most lovingly up against
its complex though oh so
seemingly familiar surface
I sense some ultra necessary
edge is hovering near
change itself own
unmarried occurrence
why, I could even swear that
I faintly feel its beautifully
warm breath upon my ear
as it whispers oh so beseechingly
to me
it says to me
come
see all of which you've sought
as it is so very lovingly now
awaits you
not far now at all from this
depth less place
still
my too often confused natural
trepidation
lingers in me
back just a bit
to park for me my too slow
to idle courage
to the careful curb side of such
moment's blinded wish
as I truly do know
in my heart's own fast beating
pace
that one's simply starting the car
does not constitute any sort of
winning of the actual race
so you see
I need such ideas as
support
guidance
praise
acceptance
choice
space
love
and time
but to them all
love and time take the highest
honors
time now especially so
so to better conceive
a future's view that I can not
even begin to imagine
for me
a life lived well
and full
beyond all my previously faithful
yet age old dreams
writing this
is like trying to paint the majesticness
of the setting sun
on a by far too small and dull canvas
that while unfinished
still
it makes up these unwanted boundaries
in my shimmering soul
all must too be done
with but a child's favorite worn yellow
crayon
but first
a thousand plenty little lessons
must be learned
along the way upon this rutted road
leading to my glorious
meant-to-be
I am but just beginning to rattle all
the doors of Heaven
just now today, you see
a little late yes
perhaps
ah, but I always was
certain that you've been expecting
my eventual arrival
was I correct
knowing this
puts yet another priceless
smile away
in the pocket of my heart
the one that I have always
saved just for my you
as such pocket in me
is very nearly overflowing now
that tells me one thing
that our true beginning is oh so
very near
so come
for our time together
grows even faster dear...........
(Aug. 30, 1999)