THE RELUCTANT SEARCH FOR WHAT TOMORROW BRINGS

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JOURNAL #9

poetry has always been my secret and silent salvation

an avenue to take in which to alleviate the unapparent

pain

I was taught as a not so small child

to take life as it comes but in gentle moderation

and to never let matters of great importance be taken

lightly or in vain

Elvis seemed to have had it all

perhaps too much

yet still died before his life was really even through

fear has a way of creeping up on a body

when with one's supposed talent (s)he's not so certain

what (s)he should do

I have this vision that one day I'll become somebody

that I wouldn't recognize if she appeared before me

today

and it scares me even as it excites

the very idea is self fulfilling in its own

unexplained way

there's a memory I have that martyred itself for the

sake of the years to come

I recall everything yet nothing at all

which cancels out all else making me feel quite

inadequate at times yet more so

so very dumb

perhaps, that is why when I am losing I react to the loss

like I've just won

oh, what adventures there are in store for me that I have

yet to experience

isn't it wonderful

knowing they've only just begun.............

( written Jan 8,1993 pm)


Author's Notes/Comments: 

a nagging sense that I was onto something when writing poetry.

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