with a vagueness of spirit
I am called up to the mark
with fire already in my blood
I have no need for any even soulful spark
will the spirit fall to crawl when it is plunged
into the terror ridden dark
or will it take to water with the shear force of a
territorial shark
these thrilling thoughts of escape pound relentlessly
upon my battle weary brain
often physical pleasure is the easiest of all
to fool and feign
I choose to lose solely in order to gain
and my empathy for others is born of the probable
pain
I ease the control by a mirror measured notch or two
then I'm back on the path that over only shortly ago
I once freely flew
does the soul force logic's hand like a critically
unhappy shrew
or does it merely defy death in degrees by promising
death its eventual due
with love so hot and violently red in hue
know that I would gladly give to death my sacrificed
self in place of you................
(written July 26,1992 am)