A DARK AND DUBIOUS ELATION

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JOURNAL #13

just what is it that I am really feeling

and where does this well of overflowing emotion

spring from

and why do these almost detached and torn

reminders grip me

others more so than some

its as if I'm missing someone I have yet to meet

a painful gouge within the soul

startled suppression that mirrors incredible

defeat

the mate my soul seems to miss

I wonder does he wonder this globe in the time

I claim as my own present day

or has he so like me, I think passed already from

the world only not yet to return

is he long away

where as I have (returned) and there we achingly

differ

destined for the moment to live and or exist

apart

the other too, looking for his faceless, nameless

mate

like me, starting within my very own heart

this question constantly lives

all I know to say is

stay where you are if you are indeed like me

here and maybe, just maybe I will find you

even if unknowingly

I believe still

I will know

its all the same

once again

as always

forever

I miss you so!.................

(July 10, 1995)

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