HIS CHOICE ,MY DECISION

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JOURNAL#5

we are noticeably separated

even if only by an unclear thought

but its the plain reality we missed

when we managed to let the emptiness of our

emotions get somehow uncaught

and to you I know how this must so guiltily look

but remember apologies only shadow sincerity

in a truly honest soul's sacred book

I do not fully listen to he who has before taken

me for a crook

it's my being in love with you that alone is perhaps

the unfair hook,

search your semi shallow soul and see the one who

looks to you with not her eyes but her lover's heart

and learn at last that of you she only wishes to

remain a small part

God forgive me for I am she

but luckily enough she is not all of me

she keeps silent in company of any man today's ear

and when she's really not she's still hiding even

halfhearted in here

know that as I cautiously speak out these very

observations do ring in my heart so terribly queer

these statements are as metaphorically fitting as the

term gorgeous is in reference to actor Richard Gere

and even though of all that I say

I do not always hear

I still am for the most part exactly what I seem to

appear

a good spirit on occasion led around by the nose of

fear

please forgive my unadorned face for permitting the

escape of such a lonely solitary tear

for it only knows its place in this life

but nothing of my recently decided career..........

( written Oct25,1991 pm)

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