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HIS CHOICE ,MY DECISION
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JOURNAL#5 we are noticeably separated
even if only by an unclear thought
but its the plain reality we missed
when we managed to let the emptiness of our
emotions get somehow uncaught
and to you I know how this must so guiltily look
but remember apologies only shadow sincerity
in a truly honest soul's sacred book
I do not fully listen to he who has before taken
me for a crook
it's my being in love with you that alone is perhaps
the unfair hook,
search your semi shallow soul and see the one who
looks to you with not her eyes but her lover's heart
and learn at last that of you she only wishes to
remain a small part
God forgive me for I am she
but luckily enough she is not all of me
she keeps silent in company of any man today's ear
and when she's really not she's still hiding even
halfhearted in here
know that as I cautiously speak out these very
observations do ring in my heart so terribly queer
these statements are as metaphorically fitting as the
term gorgeous is in reference to actor Richard Gere
and even though of all that I say
I do not always hear
I still am for the most part exactly what I seem to
appear
a good spirit on occasion led around by the nose of
fear
please forgive my unadorned face for permitting the
escape of such a lonely solitary tear
for it only knows its place in this life
but nothing of my recently decided career..........
( written Oct25,1991 pm)
