PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

things will get better I just know they will

you see they must because some believe like me

that every valley in life is preceded by a steep

heart breaking hill

even though I tend to doubt my actions

I continue to believe fully in my self taught skill

truth and reality when combined can become quite a

bitter sweet pill

and though I may often complain about my fifty odd

faults or more

know that no other s shoes would I soon wish to fill

what I do takes cooperation of heart and soul to form

a writer's sense of kill

I never give up on myself even though I may desperately

wish for some form of release

I may repeatedly shatter my soul's shell but I always

manage to find a modicum of strength and inner peace

describe for me the exact face of isolated depression

I reconstruct mine all the time through means of

denial and aggression

If not this page then to whom can I voice my current

cup of confession

I am in love with a man five years my junior but I fear this

fragile love's exposure through open expression

pain can only increase by the unrequitedness when locked

up in feminine repression

perhaps with a marriage councilor of one's thoughts

I need to take up session

this young man's happy unhindered heart I should not be

attempting to claim

what it is of his that I wish to attain I need not

directly speak of for each of us knows the precise

ugliness of its name

but the heart of what it is that I feel for this

boy/man is not so ugly as it is real

but I wonder so often how can I even think that my

shattered shocking soul to him would ever even remotely

appeal

and so to appease the eventual death of my currently

starving thoughts and obviously not returned feelings

I wipe the floor clean of all recent good and bad memories

but put away in my private scrap book

what's left of the shavings and peelings.......

( written Oct 17, 1991 pm)