PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

there are three enities that live

within my husband

the fun care free lover

the thoughtful husband

and the dreaded distant one

I love one

enjoy the other

and damn near despise the last

the coldness pervades

freezing my bitter tears

no forgiveness there in

just those,' see right through you' stares

its as if in these moments for him

I am not even there

how does one fight not existing

I have no weapon only my despair

I sit lost

in all this beauty of the surrounding

trappings of our life

and what a glorious life it can be

but out of nowhere inevitably

a fight erupts

likely out of my being overly sensitive

anger sets out her words

and the loss begins yet again

my love leaves

and behind him there now stands

that empty shell

so full of emptiness

I have to be me

I can't not ever be anything else

I have apologised to no avail

I stand here now dead in his stare

too alone

too broken up

and I have no place to go

so much could be fixed with but a kind word

a civil conversation

a frank discussion

with all that coldness removed

but today my only option is time

in my brokenness and heart break

and aching just to be close to this one

man whom I have loved so long

I must let him go

let him walk away and wait for the coldness

to take its own leave

only when my love is back in the place of that

dreaded cold facade will I know and feel

if and when everything will be right again for us

but until that time I die just a little more

and my heartbreak has no soft place in which to

let the pieces fall

so into my pillow I let my tears cascade

comfort seems like such a foreign enity right now

to me

so I pray fervently in the very depths of my soul

that this bump in the road wont become a sink hole

fortelling a much larger hell to soon come.............

(written march 13, 2006 545pm)