today my heartache writes her poem
his ineptitude at love ever lasting
is a whipped horse in reverse
what little love that is gained
all too suddenly gets swallowed up whole
in the darkness of his complete self absorbtion
relate he can, but only when he chooses to
but disconnect too he can do
at an alarming speed he can deflate
his tides are volatile and abstract
why do I cry when he's gone
an aching fool truly am I
in equal hand
a single day for each
he shows me his sweetness
only to all too quickly turn his cold
'I don't need you' side, on me for no reason
at all
and it's I who feels the ice chilling my silly
tears
as they fall unnoticed
by his blank looking right through me, eyes
I am defeated without any battle having been
declared at even a hint of discourse
this is my life
and curse me for my weakness
but this is the love I'm allotted
as questionable as it is sometimes
and oh how I truly wish on days like today
that I simply didn't have to feel
anything at all.........
( written Nov 21, 2005 1235am )