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today my heartache writes her poem

his ineptitude at love ever lasting

is a whipped horse in reverse

what little love that is gained

all too suddenly gets swallowed up whole

in the darkness of his complete self absorbtion

relate he can, but only when he chooses to

but disconnect too he can do

at an alarming speed he can deflate

his tides are volatile and abstract

why do I cry when he's gone

an aching fool truly am I

in equal hand

a single day for each

he shows me his sweetness

only to all too quickly turn his cold

'I don't need you' side, on me for no reason

at all

and it's I who feels the ice chilling my silly

tears

as they fall unnoticed

by his blank looking right through me, eyes

I am defeated without any battle having been

declared at even a hint of discourse

this is my life

and curse me for my weakness

but this is the love I'm allotted

as questionable as it is sometimes

and oh how I truly wish on days like today

that I simply didn't have to feel

anything at all.........

( written Nov 21, 2005 1235am )